PHOTO: FILE
Kylie, a single mother of two, has twice returned to live with her parents as an adult.
The first time, she came back from overseas with little money and uncertain about her future after a relationship ended. More recently, after separating from her ex-partner, she needed a place to stay while getting back on her feet. With her own income insufficient to support living independently, she and her children moved in with her parents for stability.
Both stays were relatively short-term. “We considered living together longer, but the house wasn’t really set up for it. We all needed more personal space.”
Financially, living with her parents was a relief, as she only had to cover minimal living costs and rent. However, the arrangement had its “ups and downs.”
“The hardest part is being the middle generation in a three-generation household,” Kylie said. “You’re constantly trying to mediate while parenting your children and being parented yourself.”
Kylie’s situation is increasingly common. Data shows a significant rise in households with adult children, with over 100,000 more such households since 2004—the fastest-growing household type.
Economist Shamubeel Eaqub attributes this trend largely to limited incomes and rising living costs. “We’ll see more detail in the census, but it’s likely due to people needing to cut costs while saving for a house deposit.”
Eaqub also noted that young people are staying home longer, avoiding the expensive and often substandard rental market. “Norms have changed, partly due to Covid, which made online learning and staying at home more viable.”
Ten years ago, this trend would have been unexpected, as New Zealand historically didn’t have a strong tradition of adult children living with their parents. Eaqub mentioned that the changing ethnic mix in New Zealand—particularly among Asian, Pacific, and migrant families—has normalized extended family living.
Kirsty Ross, acting head of the School of Psychology at Massey University, agrees that financial pressures are driving many into intergenerational living. “University students can now study online and live at home to save money. Others need family support while raising children.”
Ross added that the Covid lockdowns highlighted the benefits of living together, not just for cost savings but also for social support. However, she warned that different generations may have different lifestyles, which can lead to challenges. “Even something as simple as what TV shows to watch can cause friction. Good communication is key to ensuring these differences don’t escalate.”
SOURCE: RNZ